Encyclopedia of Hoopenfangia
Basic Terms and Words in the Series
Apprentice: A witch of any age who has been accepted into Mystic Steeples or Toadvine Citadel, in order to learn and develop his or her witchcraft skills from a magister, known as a theurgist.
Astral or Astral Plane: A realm of existence among the celestial spheres, high above Hoopenfangia, where a witch’s physical body enters upon death, or where a witch’s astral form or body can visit while living. Few Sanguinati witches claim to have astral traveled while living; this is more of a Sorcerer experience where the Sorcerer’s astral body is called a fetch.
Bestiary: A bestiary is an encyclopedia of animals, most of which Nizzertits in other countries believe are mythical or extinct. Besides a detailed description of each animal’s history, good bestiary books, such as Myths or Menagerie, feature animated images, as well as auditory samples of the animals’ cries and/or mating calls.
Coven: A coven at Mystic Steeples is an organization of initiated apprentices — witches who share similar interests and receive benefits such as housing, protection, fun, as well as access to restricted areas of Mystic Steeples or departments in Mystic Ministry. Each coven has an elected president and other officials. Any apprentice accepted into a coven will remain a member for life unless he or she wants out or the coven votes to remove a coven mate’s membership: in such rare cases, the vespercestors will have to approve the removal.
Enchanted: Someone or something that is magical, or has had a good or nonthreatening spell placed on it, is considered enchanted. In the case of someone or something that has had a grim spell, or black magic placed on it, the person or object would be hexed or cursed, not enchanted.
Familiar: A familiar is a witch’s pet or animal guide that can sometimes talk or has some sort of magical power to assist and protect its witch master. Often times believed to be spirits of fairies who have taken on the forms of animals, familiars usually choose their masters and not the other way around.
Great Witch: This is the title for the legendary witch (believed to have been Usabelli) who led witches from all over the world to Hoopenfangia, thus providing them a safe haven from Nizzertits who were trying to exterminate them from the planet. Some think the LaRocks have caused the Sanguinati to forget who the Great Witch was because the Great Witch wasn’t believed to be one of the LaRocks.
Hierophant: A hierophant unravels arcane mysteries and principles, as he or she guides others toward wisdom, truth, and knowledge.
Inner Essence: The central spark or soul of a person’s being, or willpower vital in defining a person’s personality.
Inner Eye: Also known as their third eye or pineal glands, the inner eye is responsible for seeing and knowing beyond the physical or obvious realm.
Magicked: To affect something using magic.
Nocturnal Animals: These are animals that are usually only active and awake during the night.
Patron Ancient: Each coven of Mystic Steeples has a patron Ancient, a Sanguinati luminary who has died, but the coven feel that that Ancient’s spirit is protecting or supporting their particular coven from the beyond. Perhaps the Ancient once belonged to that coven and did provide support while alive.
Prophecy: A magical prediction about something, usually from a witch who has a gift at prophesying, also known as divination, soothsaying, and foreseeing the future. If the prophecy was written down, it is known among the Sanguinati as an oracle.
Sanatoribums: A derogatory name Tilta Crumpecker uses for inmates: a blend of the words bums and Sanatorium.
Sanatorium: Grossatete Sanatorium in Severance, Hoopenfangia, is a prison where Sanguinati witches are sent for various offenses. The goal of the sanatorium is to rehabilitate offending inmates and turn them into Sanguinati loyalists who meet Mystic Ministry's particular standards for witches.
Vampire: A person who has died after being bitten by another vampire, and has become reanimated into a hybrid-human who feeds on people’s blood or energy. Vampires usually require coffins to preserve their flesh and sleep. The very first vampire came to be because of a curse a witch put on another witch.
Warlock: Usually in reference to a male witch, a warlock is a witch who has resorted to using black magic in an effort to abandon or betray his or her own coven.
Books, Newspapers, Magazines, Etc.
A Spy or Accidental Witness? How to Tell a Difference: An astute guide by former Vigilespion Mangas Biscardi that teaches you how to differentiate between somebody who might be spying on you and a happenstance onlooker who accidentally sees you doing something you wish they hadn’t. It’s all in the body language claims Biscardi who teaches you how to identify the clues.
Boo-boos, Cooties, and Other Dreaded Lurgies: An encyclopedia of germ-based diseases and enchanted injuries Nizzertits believe to be fictitious.
Controssua: The official Sanguinati book of essentials — a witch's guidebook with history, oracles, insight from the Ancients, rituals, and spell information.
Cauldron Chronicles: A history of witches’ cauldrons and their uses. The book cover emits hot bubbles when touched.
Daily Hazy Herald: A newspaper in Severance, Hoopenfangia on a broader scale.
Dictionary of Dark Afflictions: A medical dictionary featuring symptoms and afflictions associated with dark or black magic and hexes.
Encyclopedia of Clumsy Calamities: An encyclopedia of peculiar physical mishaps that are the root symptoms of hexes and jinxes.
Exotic Poxes: A medical encyclopedia featuring rare and evil poxes such as dragon pox, characterized by flaming pustules and acidic eruptions, and other poxes associated with plagues and curses such as demonopox, characterized by throbbing red boils that emit puffs of sulphuric smoke and hissing screams before erupting.
Magic Ledger: A newspaper in Severance, Hoopenfangia with a Sanguinati slant.
Medical Encyclopedias: An extensive list of books that cover everything concerning diseases, poxes, and related medical terminology found in the Leery Library and libraries across Severance, Hoopenfangia. You have to wear gloves to touch these books. Mystic Maladies and Diabolical Diseases: This medical encyclopedia covers unusual diseases of a hereditary nature.
Mystic Memoir: A Sanguinati witch's private spell book and diary. Most witches, especially of higher status, have their family and/or coven crests engraved on the covers.
Myths or Menagerie: Although smaller than many bestiary books on the market, children and adults alike cannot get enough copies of Myths or Menagerie with its animated images, scratch-and-sniff text, as well as auditory samples of the animals’ cries and mating calls.
Passing Your Progress Gauge Reports: The arithmancy multiphasic inventory — is it really all in the Heart Number? Banned by the vespercestors a dozen times or more, this must-have book, by the late Skeets Chitsome, soars off the shelf quicker than most people land in the sanatorium for not passing their Progress Gauge Reports. In the latest edition, you’ll learn how to delay time between assessment procedures in order to get more cingulum (belt) knots, and perfect your at-home needle desensitizing and perception exercises. In the chapter Breaking Metaphysical Records, learn two-plus potions to purify your aura, and how stress and sleep positions really do affect phrenology exams. On the subject of sleep, you’ll learn how to safeguard your dreams using book pillows. In the chapter on Graphology Analysis, credible test subjects help answer the question ‘just how unconscious is the calligraphy testing?’ as well as how lefties always have the upper hand.
Scrying With Scars: By Cicatrix Pellis. Scar patterns, like the constellations, could be telling you something. This book explains the different types of bodily scars and their individual meanings for your personal guidance and inspiration. Pellis also sheds new insight on how inflammation, itching, and scar tissue healing time can also be indicative of your future. The book is so compelling you’ll find yourself running naked through a field of cactus just to get another scar.
Sorcery Symptoms and How to Detect Them: By Agnus Furcula. This is a book for every discerning Sanguinati parent who realizes the dangers of allowing dark symptoms of sorcery to manifest among our children. It teaches you many of the signs to look for such as suspicious shadow movements: is it a trick of poor lighting or is something much more diabolical going on?
The Fantabulously Fatal Fables Series: Each legendary book in this series features a depressingly delicious fable such as The Last Song of the Morning Stars, as well as the scarcely heard of book The Legend of the Great Witch and the Lost Magic Instruments. Nobody knows who the author or authors are for this series, or how many books were written, as most seem to have gone missing.
The Legend of the Great Witch and the Lost Magic Instruments: From The Fantabulously Fatal Fables series. Nobody knows who the author or authors are for this series, or how many books were written, as most seem to have gone missing. This book in the series is the story of the Great Witch who foresaw his own people turning on him to the point of his assassination, so he makes a pact with the planet Saturn to secure himself a future heir. In this pact, the Great Witch requests protection for his heir from five of the Order of the Zodiac beings: Earth, Fire, Water, Spirit, and Air. Saturn agrees but warns him that if anybody binds the Zodiac beings on earth, he would send a sixth entity, Death. If the Great Witch survives his assassination, he will never regain his rule, and whomever the Great Witch reveals his former identity to, Death will surely take them.
The Study of Sanguinati Seasons: By Sam Hain. This book offers an in-depth analysis of all the special days, seasons, historical holidays and events that are sacred to the Sanguinati —everything from lesser Sabbats to Saint Persimmon’s Day.
The Ultimate Aerowachee Maneuvers Guide: This book by Westcott Waite has slow-moving images that show every standard and freestyle broom maneuver such as the snap-up roulette split and the torque spring cloud ripper, plus several new but trickier aerobatic moves such as the inverted loop-the-loop, the tailslide spin flight, the rolling crestycrux flatspin, and the controversial new maneuver called the upright hammer stale.
Valortine Cards: These are greeting cards Valor McRaven created to try to make others happy and like him. He personalizes the cards for the holidays and seasons.
Clothing and Accessories
Chameleon-Skin Coats: A coat worn by dwarves at Grossatete Sanatorium: they are made of chameleon skin and take on the colors of their surroundings so that the dwarves remain as inconspicuous as possible, in case they risk disturbing Head Magister Crumpecker.
Cloaks: A hooded cape that is usually sleeveless and worn outdoors and over the clothing.
Double-Coned Hats: Two cone-shaped hats that have stripes and resemble a bull’s horns. Female inmates at Grossatete Sanatorium wear this hat.
Galaxy Glasses: An enchanted pair of eyeglasses that have a moving image capture of the stars and planets in outer space. O Enchantedness is the only witch who wears these glasses.
Jabot: A fashionable lace frill or ruffle worn around the neck, over the front of a man’s shirt and vest. Sometimes the jabot is pleated.
Monocle: A monocle is a magnifying glass that is held up to one eye by a long wand-like handle.
Pointed or Pointy Hats: This is the standard witches’ hat, with a wide brim and long conical top, which sits on top of the head.
Robes: A robe is a long coat or gown-like outer garment that is loose fitting. It is the standard witch uniform, particularly for male and female apprentices and magisters of magic also called theurgists.
Ruff Collars: A ruff is a wide and full, disk-shaped collar that is pleated or gathered to form a decorative edging. Male and female stargazers wear them to block out peripheral distractions and to support their heads so that they can gaze up at the stars longer.
Swashbuckler Boots: These black or brown leather boots usually come up to the knee or higher, fold down on the top, and have several buckles. They are a common boot worn by pirate captains and male witches in Hoopenfangia.
Lithium McRaven is waiting outside the carriage gate entry of Grossatete Sanatorium where Mystic Ministry committed her and her family.
She is wearing the standard uniform for female prisoners, which consists of white boots to remind them to keep their steps pure on life’s walk: also a black tulle skirt with sparkling stars to remind them of their potential. Female inmates also wear double-coned hats as symbols that they are not to be bullheaded. The gray-and-black-stripped stockings are symbolic of prison bars that restrain them. The black, ruched mini-capes are reminders that the inmates narrowly avoided the death penalty, as Sanatorium workers ripped the velvet fabrics out of all the coffins after Mystic Ministry banned them.
The white-laced collars are representations of angel wings resting on their shoulders, encouraging obedience. The white-sash bows around their waists serve as bindings unto purity.
All inmates, both male and female wear purple silk undergarments, which is the standard for even the elite members of the Sanguinati. This is important, as the undergarments are the nearest fabric to their skin and hearts, serving as reminders of where their loyalty should remain and where their protection derives.
Valor McRaven is wearing the standard uniform for male prisoners, which consists of black boots called cloud stompers. He is also wearing a black-and-white-striped stocking cap and matching shirt and socks, which symbolize the prison bars that contain inmates in the sanatorium. Male inmates also wear black trench coats to block out dark energy and gray knee-length shorts to keep them humble and remind them that they are lacking.
The large white collars represent angel wings resting on their shoulders, encouraging obedience. The white cuffs, around their wrists, serve as a reminder to keep their hands from performing dark magic. Every stocking cap has a Sanguinati medallion on the tip, and this must remain draped on the right side of the head to remind male inmates of their Destiny, Heredity, and to strive to join Mystic Ministry.
All inmates, both male and female, wear purple silk undergarments, which is the standard for even the elite members of the Sanguinati. This is important, as the undergarments are the nearest fabric to their skin and hearts, serving as reminders of where their loyalty should remain and where their protection derives.
Diseases, Disorders, Hexes, and Poxes
Cornusavium Ichthyovultus: Pronunciation: [Corn-you-SAVE-ee-um ICK-theo-VUL-tus]
The first symptoms of this disease are a nervous stomach, and your head turns into the head of a kissing fish with fleshy antennae.
Lilly Livered: A disease where the liver turns white and flattens into six petal-like sections.
Mock Pox: A spell that mimics an illness, rash….
Pernicious Poisoning: A destructive and deadly state of health that results from someone deliberately poisoning another person.
Potty Mouth: A disease where a person uses profanity one time too many until he or she can’t stop doing so.
Rainbow Measles: A disease that causes tingly, rainbow-colored blotches to appear all over the body.
Ugosloven Toe: A disease where a witch becomes permanently sluggish, starting with the toes
Vanishing Twin Vexation: A vexation, often psychologically scarring, that happens to a surviving child when his or her twin dies or vanishes, usually before or shortly after birth. This often leaves the surviving twin racked with loneliness, guilt, or the nagging feeling that something is missing in his or her life. Even when they become adults, twinless twins often feel alone either with a group of friends or at a party.
Ever-Drippy Stickycicle: A sticky frozen candy that constantly drips until consumed entirely.
Penelope’s Pulsating Pebblemints: Mint candy that throbs in your mouth and helps to prolong premonitions.
Enchanted Powders and Grooming Products
Glory Glue Hairspray: Hairspray potions made from unicorn spit and sold in glass bottles with squeeze pumps.
Planet Drabulas Dust: Black dust from the planet Drabulas, popular among Sorcerers and male witches.
Saturn Dust: Dust from the planet Saturn — one of the most enchanted dusts used in cosmetic powders that many Sanguinati men and women wear to preserve their youth and enhance their magic abilities.
Gems, Stones, and Related Items
Lyngurium: A powerful stone made from lynx tinkle.
Moonstone: A gemstone with an opalescent luster or visual effect caused by light diffraction. It comes in numerous colors and also in colorless. Sometimes the stone is formed when rays of the moon solidify, such as the moonstone tip on Valor McRaven’s Focus Pocus Monoculous.
General Rooms and Buildings
Chantry: A cathedral or room designated for large gatherings of witches to hold meetings, perform rituals, and chant: such as Mystic Chantry located in Mystic Steeples, in Severance, Hoopenfangia.
Menagerie: A zoo such as Mystic Menagerie located in Severance, Hoopenfangia.
Herbs, Trees, and Related Things
Bleeding Madgollia Trees: A flowering tree that produces large, white, fragrant blooms that ooze red nectar like drops of blood over its petals. Their blossoms are believed to represent the blood shed by the Ancients to establish and secure the Sanguinati.
Damiana: Used in spells, philters, potions, and herb censers, damiana is a fragrant flowering shrub with fig-like fruit.
Dragon’s Blood Resin: Believed to help heal wounds and stop bleeding, as well as in the treatment of intestinal problems, dragon's blood is a bright red resin used in potions, spells, censers, varnishes, and dyes.
Evening Grimrose: Forbidden nocturnal plant. Grimroses bloom during a full moon on the outskirts of Severance. They spew out their dark seeds, clouding the air like a plague.
Henbane: A poisonous smelly herb of the nightshade family used for magic potions and for various healing purposes.
Herbalhookah: An herb-smoking pipe with an ornate censer resembling a genie bottle and a long hose and mouthpiece that allows the user to inhale the burning herbs from the censer base.
Herbs: Herbs are the parts of plants, usually the leaves or flowers, which are used in potions, rituals, and spells, as well as for food, seasoning, medicine, and fragrances. Herbs are often burned in censers and lamps for various purposes such as ridding negativity and spirits, in offerings to the Ancients, cleansing rituals, and encouraging luck, etc.
Juniper Berry Bush: A plant whose berries are used for various purposes such as in the treatment of stomach and digestion issues, as well as for diseases of the bladder and kidneys.
Poison Apple Trees: Found mostly around Grossatete Sanatorium and Mystic Steeples, these are like regular apple trees, except they bear poison apples instead of edible apples. Poison apple trees bloom white petals year round, and these petals constantly fall to the ground like snow.
Red-Peppered Bat Nut: A wicked-looking seedpod mostly used in Grim magic, but when purified with red pepper, it is sometimes used by Sanguinati witches to ward off evil, or as a jinx breaker.
Rings of Myrtle: Used as peace offerings and protection against enchantments, these rings are sometimes worn as crowns by male and female Sanguinati on their wedding days, and are believed to work as love charms.
Toadstool: Another name for a giant mushroom; also a chair at Toadvine Citadel.
Tree of Life: According to many, this is a legendary tree located in the cosmos, where all forms of life spring from or to which they connect.
Weeping Wishtearia: This vine-like tree climbs the exterior walls on many of the alleys in Mystic City. Each flower on the vine-like tree blooms in different colors and releases droplets of tears onto the cobblestone.
Widow’s Cross: This fleshy-leaved herb has abundant pink blooms and is believed to be used by Mystic Ministry in potions or spells to keep the Sanguinati under submission.
Magic Exercises and Practices
Astrology: The study of the positions and motions of the stars, moons, sun, and planets, and how their movements have profound impacts on the human race.
Brontomancy: Also called Thunder Ponder. Brontomancy is divination or fortune telling by interpreting the messages or omens behind thunder or thunderstorms.
Channeling: When a witch serves as a vessel (channel) for the dead, a familiar that cannot audibly speak, a spirit guide, or a consciousness in order to communicate with the living. Sorcerers have been known to channel the living, but Mystic Ministry only allows the Sanguinati to channel dead Ancients.
Chanting: To speak, sing, or intone (usually in a repetitive or droning manner) a chant, spell, or mantra. Chanting is practiced mostly by Sanguinati witches.
Conjure: Practiced by every type of witch, although, only the most skilled witches are successful conjurers. Conjuring involves a spell, incantation, invocation, or magic summons in order to make someone or something appear in its physical or spiritual form and often out of nowhere.
Cranium Angler: A Phrenologist. Recent finding contend that many hair stylists and milliners, a.k.a. hatters, are secretly phrenologists or they have a hidden desire to be phrenologists.
Divinatory Arts: A popular assembly at Mystic Steeples under Aves Treacle, Magister of Divinatory Arts. Divination involves predicting the future, seeing into the present unknown, or for acquiring hidden knowledge. The most common tools for divination are astrology, dreamcraft, geomancy, horoscopes, palm reading, radiesthesia, scrying, Tarot cards, and tea leaves. Magister Treacle helps apprentices develop the third eye to predict the future. Crystal balls were banned from this assembly and from Severance, Hoopenfangia by the vespercestors.
Essence Excursions: A compulsory rehabilitation assembly at Grossatete Sanatorium, under the title and guise of Scrying Essentials. The assumed goal of the sanatorium headmistress and possibly Mystic Ministry is to remove rebellious witches’ inner essences and turn them into obedient zombies.
Grim Magic: Believed to be the magic of the Grim Warlock and his followers. Grim magic is also called black or dark magic, and usually requires, or involves itself with, or causes death and destruction. More information coming soon.
Hand Casting: The hands serve as most Sorcerer’s magic wands and implements, and as such, they use their hands and minds to cast spells and manipulate objects. Sorcerers are also called mental magicians and handcasters for this reason.
Hex: Considered Grim or black magic, especially when not cast defensively, a hex is a curse, jinx, or hostile spell meant to cause harm or mischief. Sanguinati witches do learn and use hexes and curses, but the use of such spells and magic are judged and monitored heavily by Mystic Ministry. While jinxes are more playful than despicable, hexes are milder than curses, which are the darkest form of magic.
Hibernation: Considered Grim or black magic, hibernation is a prolonged period of sleep or temporary death, usually underground, that allows Grim witches to build their strength and death magic back up, especially after doing battle.
Informing: Considered sorcery, informing is when a witch speaks his or her desires or implants an image of his or her desires into an object, situation, or the cosmos, telling it the outcome he or she desires. Usually, when the time is right, the witch speaks a command word to trigger the informed objects into action.
Inner-Eye Running: Running with closed eyes while in a trance — only seeing with the inner or third eye. Many of the Sanguinati ecstatically run around Mystic Chantry during convocation.
Intangibility Magic: Considered sorcery, this is a witch’s ability to pass through solid objects.
Mantra: A written intent or incantation that is scrambled into either an anagram, or a nonsensical word or phrase, which is then repeatedly chanted. This is slow and subtle magic generally to increase luck, overcome bad habits, or ease phobias.
Mathemagical Basics: This magical math curriculum is taught in Sanguinati grade school, as well as in Grossatete Sanatorium as a precursor to Alchemy Basics. Mystic Fashions: This is a shortened term for the Assembly of Mystic Fashions, an assembly offered to apprentices at Mystic Steeples where they learn the magic and history of witches’ hats and clothing, particularly the styles and fashions around Mystic Steeples and Mystic City. They also learn how to design and produce these fashions.
Noggin Numbings: Mostly practiced by Sanguinati mesmerists, this is where the mesmerist vigorously massages the lobotomy area of somebody’s forehead, often with crushed herbs or enchanted oils, and usually while chanting over the person as frequently seen occurring in convocation. Palm Reader: Also called a palmist; a palm reader divines a person’s present, past, and future by the lines and bumps on the person’s palm, usually on the dominant hand.
Persuasion Magic: The ability to verbally or mentally manipulate someone to do something you wish him or her to do. Also called the power of persuasion; this is considered sorcery.
Phrenologist: A cranium angler is a witch who divines a person’s present, past, and future by the shape of his or her head. Recent finding contend that many hair stylists and milliners, a.k.a. hatters, are secretly phrenologists or they have a hidden desire to be phrenologists.
Scrying Essentials: This assembly is just a ruse. It’s really Essence Excursions.
Séance: Séances are usually held by Sorcerers who hold a group meeting to receive communication from the dead. This has become a dying game among Sanguinati witches because the vespercestors only allow them to contact the Ancients. Serendipity Magic: A form of magic Creighton Crowley invented where he haphazardly conducts spells to test his luck.
Shapeshift: Unlike transfiguration (which generally changes objects,) shapeshifters or shapeshifting is considered Grim magic by the Sanguinati. Shapeshifting is the power to change self or parts of self to that of someone else of that of an animal, especially a nocturnal animal. Using spells or wands shapeshifting traditionally starts with the chant “I shall go into an owl, hell hound, or bat,” or whatever animal the shapeshifter has the ability to shift into. Some shapeshifters can shift into an amorphous blob of darkness.
Sorcery: Hereditary by nature, sorcery is witchcraft that can be developed through time and learning. Utilizing creative visualization, Sorcerers awaken their magic by connecting with the powers of their minds to project the fulfillment of any desired outcome consistent with their level of confidence. Sorcerers don’t usually require wands, charms, or implements to perform spells, and they almost never require chanting or mysticism as the Sanguinati do. They rely on memory and focus to channel their full being on a given circumstance or object. Using their hands, (hand casting), along with planetary correspondences at times, Sorcerers use their minds to trigger psychic phenomena, allowing them to influence the physical world without physical means.
*For more details, see Sorcerers under Simple Sorting.
Spell: A spell sometimes refers to an individual act of magic itself. Technically, it is often a spoken incantation or command word to trigger some magical outcome. Often this requires a magic implement such as a magic wand or staff.
Subtle Claw: The ability to scratch or claw someone by scratching the air in front of the intended target. Some Sorcerers such as Doomsy Gloomsy have this power.
Sugar Magic: This is magic that witch children first learn using kitchen utensils and goods such as sugar and silver spoons. Many children learn safe and funny spells such as how to turn dried fruit to scabs, sugar to blood, or salt to snot, in order to gross out or amuse their parents and friends.
Teleport: Teleportation is the magic ability to disappear from one location and reappear somewhere else, usually within an instant. A teleport may also refer to an actual device such as the portable portal belonging to O Enchantedness, or a teleport can be a fixed location or apparatus (portal) that a witch physically enters to transfer his or herself to another location. (More on this coming soon.)
Therapeutic Touch: A form of magic where a witch (Valor McRaven calls them feeler healers) can heal or improve a wounded or ill person by laying his or her hands on or near the area of sickness or injury. This healer may have a natural gift for therapeutic touch yet may possess no other skills attributed to a witchdoctor or the healing arts.
Theurgist: A theurgist is a magister of Sanguinati magic who oversees and trains an assembly of apprentices.
Transfiguration: To transfigure or change the appearance of a person, animal, or thing both inwardly and outwardly using magic.
Transvection: Also called levitation, floating, or free-floating: (Free of having to use a broom to fly through the air.) Only Sorcerers can float. The Sanguinati require brooms to fly through the air.
Vesper Vigils: When the mediator to the Bound Order of the Zodiac sees that the planet Venus is shining bright in the evening sky, he rings a bell, and the vespercestors summon select stargazers and guardians to an all-night candlelit vigil where they watch over suspicious members of the Sanguinati’s beds while they sleep. The stargazers and guardians do this to see if the suspicious members engage in any behavior considered Sorcerer or Noctivatian.
Witchcraft: The original magic craft and spell workings of witches, honed and perfected over millenniums.
Eye of Security: These are eyeballs that once belonged to cyclopes: giant humanoids with one eye. The eyes are enchanted and used as security cameras to spy on inmates throughout the sanatorium.
Flying Carpet: These are rugs that are enchanted to fly through the air, and are usually used to transport injured witches to Mystic Infirmary in Severance, Hoopenfangia.
Garbage Urns: Ever flaming to burn rubbish in an instant.
Looking Glass of Corrections: Security mirrors in Grossatete Sanatorium.
Mortucycle: Valor McRaven’s magical creation in which he had merged a mortuary coffin, used to store herbs, with a discarded Nizzertit’s bicycle.
Pippa Phantasma Passion Propulsor: A pump-action elevator that you have to jump up and down on to move to the west tower at the Sanatorium.
Spherical Portal of Reformation: A cogged contraption with glowing rings and churning gears, used in the Sanatorium, supposedly to reform rebellious or weak Sanguinati.
Vivarium: An enclosed glass terrarium-like structure for keeping and observing fairies in as close to their natural habitat as possible.
Amulets: Jewelry inscribed with magic spells or symbols that provides protection against bad luck, harm, or negative forces.
Besom: A witch’s broom made from a bundle of twigs that are secured with twine to a wooden pole called a stale.
Besprinkling Wand: Dwarves who work for Tilta Crumpecker use besprinkling wands, which contains Anathema Potion stored inside them.
Cauldron: Large iron pots used by witches to brew and produce magic potions. Witches stir the pots with spells or with iron ladles.
Charm: An ornament or object that either has magical powers or has had a spell placed on it. Most charms bring protection or luck, but some charms cause bad luck or disturbances.
Chika Bristle: Besoms (brooms) the Sanatorium inmates are allotted.
Cingulum: A male or female Sanguinati witch’s cordlike belt worn around the waist. The typical cingulum is mainly made up of rope or hair with charms often added according to spells intended or accomplished. Knots are also tied in a cingulum for luck or for binding and unbinding spells. A cingulum in the correct coven color is given to Sanguinati apprentices upon coven initiations and must be worn at each consecutive coven meeting.
Conjure Bag: The Sanguinati and Sorcerers use drawstring bags made of velvet or leather that hold wands, amulets, talismans and other implements of the magic craft, and thus charge their powers.
Crystaleer: The main source of mail and messages used by the Sanguinati as well as Sorcerers: crystaleers are flying crystal spheres that record visual and audible messages and travel as balls of light until they reach their intended recipient. To send the crystaleer recording to the intended recipient, you must speak the crystaleer the recipient’s first and last name. No location has to be known or spoken as long as the recipient’s location is inside the country of Hoopenfangia; however, this can take much longer than if you tell the crystaleer the location of the intended recipient.
Divinity Horn: A unicorn horn used by Witchdoctor Minty Kraneswaddle to treat dark afflictions. The narrow end of the horn is placed in a patient’s ear and the witchdoctor yells a spell into the horn, commanding the dark affliction to leave.
Eternasphere: A magic ball flung by select members of Mystic Ministry to inflict various punishments on sanatorium inmates.
Focus Pocus Monoculous: Valor McRaven’s magical viewing glass (monocle on a wooden stick) which he secretly uses as his magic wand. His grandmother Ellavyn McRaven gave him the monoculous on his birthday.
Monoculous rhymes with: “No HOPE to us.”
Fortune-Telling Cards: One of many instruments of divination, cards such as the Tarot are used to predict a person’s fortune, current situation, or destiny. Half-Staff: A name Valor McRaven and Doomsy Gloomsy call the short, prison-grade magic staffs used by inmates at Grossatete Sanatorium.
Herb Censers: A lamplike metal container in which herbs and incense are burned.
Hexagram: Used by the Sanguinati as a talisman and for conjuring, the hexagram is a six-pointed geometric star also called the Talisman of Saturn. Each point represents the six members of the Bound Order of the Zodiac Hexagram outlined in Sanguinati astrology.
Hexagrambler: A Hexagram-shaped device that levitates low to the ground. Mystic Ministry sometimes forces sanatorium inmates or unmanageable Sanguinati to stand on them so that the Hexagrambler works like a compass to direct their path and keep their feet from trotting into more rebellion.
Implements: A generic word that witches use for their magic tools of the craft.
Kettle: A metal vessel witches use to boil potions, brews, or for cooking.
Lachrymatory Bottle: A bottle witches use to catch tears, either to slosh onto gravestones, time their morning periods, or to use in potions and spells.
Lucky Limb: Nasty charms resembling body parts having sticky, moist veins for stitching. Most Lucky Limbs are a curse but some are for good luck.
Magic Staff: Mostly used by older male witches, guardians, stargazers, and high-ranking ministry; magic staffs are instruments and weapons of magic that resemble magic wands except they are 4 to 8 times larger. Like wands, magic staffs are powerful tools and weapons that direct spell commands toward the wand-wielding witch’s intended target or desire. Many magic staffs meet certain magic correspondences, thus they incorporate (either externally or in their cores) enchanted stones, metals, carvings, herbs, or enchanted animal parts that serve different purposes or have different powers. Unlike wands, the physical staff without magic can serve as a baton or club-like weapon to strike opponents during combat.
Magic Tokens: Enchanted coins, objects, or souvenirs that mark events, represent or celebrate certain holidays, occasions, etc.
Magihorn: A levitating horn used by Mystic Ministry to magnify the voice.
Missile Thistle Bristle: The typical besom (broom) that most Sanguinati witches fly.
Mortar: A bowl or receptacle that holds herbs and is used with a grinding utensil called a pestle.
Pestle: A grinding utensil used to crush herbs in a bowl called a mortar.
Physeviction Charm: Witches use this controversial charm to evict a person or animal from a structure or building. It takes two witches to activate the spell using magic wands. The charm must be placed in the building before performing the spell.
Plume of Phoenix: A special quill (feather from a phoenix) that turns a few dollops of ink into the words spoken.
Progress Gauge: Manufactured by the vespercestors, the progress gauge is a magic device with various compartments and spinning needles used as an aid in Sanguinati appraisals, and determining the application of disciplines and magic techniques for the purpose of addressing magical and disciplinary issues. Stargazers and/or guardians are progress readers who operate the progress gauge and conduct the diagnostic interviews on all members of the Sanguinati except for O Enchantedness and his wife.
Progress readers continue to use the gauge on Sanguinati witches well after the witches have finished their apprentice and magister levels. The person being tested places his or her tongue in the Progress Appendage Compartment Number Two and when appropriate, inserts his or her wand inside Progress Appendage Compartment Number Less-Than-Two. The progress reader then asks multiple questions and notes both the verbal response of the interviewee and the needle movements of the gauge, each having its own significance.
Purifying Salt: Witches use salt to absorb negative energy in many different ways. They add it to their food and take baths in saltwater; they immerse their magic implements in saltwater; they place bowls of salt in various places to absorb negative energy and throw salt over their shoulders or at people to purify their auras.
Snipe Eggs: The pink-speckled eggs of the snipe bird are rarely used in potions, and as such, most witches have forgotten their magical usage. Snipes are wading birds with sword-like bills and camouflage plumage, making them the most difficult birds to hunt.
Staff of Gleaning: A magic staff belonging to Spirit, the fifth in the Order of the Zodiac Hexagram. According to the book The Great Witch and the Lost Magic Instruments from The Fantabulously Fatal Fables series: If stolen, the secrets and powers of the Spirit’s Staff of Gleaning, employed to hinder the unworthy from channeling the terrestrial realms, will be used to trap and disperse the Sanguinati.
Talisman of Candlewicke: This is a silver, crescent moon-shaped talisman that Valor McRaven assumes his grandfather, Piron DaDovie, wanted him to have. Rose Decay and Creighton Crowley insist that the Talisman of Candlewicke came off the ballroom floor of Candlewicke Mansion.
Thirteen turns to make a loop
Twelve constellations in relation to one
Center ’round which elements convene
The Thirteenth moon bears vestige
The dark-hearted fear insight
That uncovered by the Knight of Night
And Candlewicke Thirteen regains prestige.
Vortex of Revealing: A small crystal sphere that glistens in streams of luminous velvety mist. Each sphere contains a small portion of the vortex, allowing witches to look beyond Hoopenfangia to see strange countries and places. A powerful Vortex of Revealing can suck objects and people into another dimension. Created by the Vigilespion and used by select members of Mystic Ministry, Vortexes of Revealings are not sold in stores.
Wand: Most every witch in Hoopenfangia uses a magic wand. Although Nizzertits only consider wands as “wooden sticks,” they are powerful tools and weapons that direct spell commands toward the wand-wielding witch’s intended target or desire. Many wands meet certain magic correspondences, thus they incorporate (either externally or in their cores) enchanted stones, metals, carvings, herbs, or enchanted animal parts that serve different purposes or have different powers.
Wand of Wallop: A sanatorium-grade magic wand that delivers strong invisible punches to wild beasts. As a form of rehabilitation, Grossatete Sanatorium issues these wands and hunting permits to non-threatening Sanguinati inmates, encouraging them to envision that they are walloping or killing the Grim Warlock, Sorcerers, or Noctivatians.
Progress Gauge Reports: Progress Gauge Reports are someone’s test results after he or she has completed a diagnostic interview while using the progress gauge. These reports are kept hidden from everyone except for the progress readers (guardians and/or stargazers) who operate the progress gauge and conduct the diagnostic interviews on all members of the Sanguinati except for O Enchantedness and his wife.
Progress readers continue to use the gauge on Sanguinati witches well after their apprentice and magister levels.
Auras of Glory: A permanent glow (as the result of a magic spell) that seems to emanate from the stiff heads of the Ancients’ corpses.
Brushing of the Sylphs’ Wings: The sensation of wind caused by sylphs’ wings fluttering around a witch’s body. The Sanguinati believe the more powerful they become, it draws the curiosity of the sylphs.
Déjà vu: A feeling or belief that something you have experienced in the past is the same thing you are currently experiencing.
Familiar Impressions: A spell/manifestation where the target is compelled to imitate his or her pet familiar.
Incarnations: More than one in a sequence of lifespans a witch happens to live upon the earth.
Weepy Reverie: Crying suddenly in a tranquil state. This is usually experienced while chanting in convocation.
Calliope: This musical instrument is similar to an organ except steam whistles produce each note. They are used and heard mostly on steamboats that travel the Severance River, and during carnivals.
Candelabrum: This is a candlestick with several branches that hold candles or gas lights.
Carriage: A centaur-drawn vehicle with wooden wheels that the Sanguinati travel in when they aren’t flying on their brooms. Often elegant with lush curtains, carriages come in a variety of styles, sizes, and uses, such as those used for transporting goods and entire tour groups.
Globulnugees: Two globulnugees equals two US dollars. Mininugees equal US coins.
Jack-o’-lantern: Carved pumpkins with candles to light them up like lanterns. Usually, jack-o’-lanterns have horrific faces.
Myth-o-panes: Panes of shell, glass, or ceramic with etched or painted designs (usually spooky scenes depicting mythological stories) that are backlit with lighted candles. They are used to decorate and light up windows for the holidays.
Scythe: A scythe is a tool used by the Grim Reaper to collect souls. Nizzertits use it scythes to harvest grain.
UFOs: This is the Nizzertit abbreviation for unidentified flying objects. Nizzertits allege that these are flying vehicles manned and operated by extraterrestrials or aliens. Mystic Ministry knows that Nizzertits across the rest of the world are often mistaking the Sanguinati’s vortexes of revealings for UFOs.
Official Papers, Documents, and Reports
Cramming: Cramming stands for Certifying Recipient Attained Magister of Magic in General.
Document of Celestial Consideration: A document from the stargazers certifying that, after they have consulted the stars and planet, the celestial plane has approved of a particular applicant and consider him or her worthy of proceeding to stand before the council of elders in order to enter an entreaty with them.
Metaphysical Records: A list of collected details and test results found on a witch’s arithmancy multiphasic inventory after receiving a diagnostic interview during a Progress Gauge Report.
Oracle: A prediction or word of knowledge from a prophet, which is usually recorded on paper or a crystaleer for the benefit or warning to somebody else.
Progress Gauge Reports: Progress Gauge Reports are someone’s test results after he or she has completed a diagnostic interview while using the progress gauge. These reports are kept hidden from everyone except for the progress readers (guardians and/or stargazers) who operate the progress gauge and conduct the diagnostic interviews on all members of the Sanguinati except for O Enchantedness and his wife. Progress readers continue to use the gauge on Sanguinati witches well after their apprentice and magister levels.
Ramrod’s Papyrus: A papyrus scroll of Ancient Ramrods exploits and writings.
Papyrus: A thick, ancient form of writing paper, often used in scrolls, that is fashioned from the papyrus plant.
Parchment: Untanned animal skins, often used in scrolls, that is used for writing.
The Conjuring Crone: Houmas McRaven is convinced that the Controssua plainly says that the Conjuring Crone will raise an army of brute warriors near the end of the pending Vespercestor’ Verdict. This Crone will be in league with the Grim Warlock and the Hermetic Order of the Mystic Key.
The Great Deception: Valor McRaven learns that all of Hoopenfangia, even the whole world perhaps, has experienced something called The Fall as well as The Great Deception, which is only starting to affect the land and people. According to a prophecy, this is not the future, it is occurring now and “everything the Sanguinati believes and has achieved is beginning to crumble. The uncovering of the Great Deception will tear families apart and cause some to go mad.”
The Grim Warlock: The Sanguinati refer to him as the Boogeyman. Sorcerers sometimes refer to him as the Grim One.
The Grim Warlock’s Thirteenth Hour: This dreadful hour, mentioned briefly in the Controssua, is purported by half of the Sanguinati to be a real event, a terrible effort to overtake Hoopenfangia and the whole world according to believers. But according to the Sorcerers, it will amount to nothing but a self-fulfilled oracle at best. The alleged masterminds behind this prophesied event are the Grim Warlock, the Conjuring Crone, and The Hermetic Order of the Mystic Key.
The Knight of Night: Valor McRaven’s inner circle of friends call him The Knight of Night who will lead Candlewicke Coven to fight against the Grim Warlock and the Great Deception. The Knight of Night was mentioned in a poem on the Talisman of Candlewicke, which Valor inherited, from his grandfather, as well as in a book someone leaves under Valor’s pillow: The Great Witch and the Lost Magic Instruments: from The Fantabulously Fatal Fables series. Valor learns that because of a pact Saturn had made with the mysterious Great Witch to secure his Heir, only the Knight of Night, the second protector, can return the Zodiacs’ stolen magic instruments.
The Six Ancients of Judgment: This is another name for the Bound Order of the Zodiac Hexagram. Six Zodiac Beings with diverse magic: Earthen, Fire, Water, Air, and Spirit from the galaxy whose calling will be to punish the Conjuring Crone and the Grim Warlock and everyone who does not follow the ways of the Ancient Vespercestors.
The Vespercestors’ Verdict: This is the predicted time in which the vespercestors will invoke the Bound Order of the Zodiac Hexagram. Six Zodiac Beings with diverse magic: Earthen, Fire, Water, Air, and Spirit from the galaxy whose calling will be to punish the Conjuring Crone and the Grim Warlock and everyone who does not follow the ways of the Ancient Vespercestors. This begins the Vespercestors’ Verdict in which the vespercestors will endlessly torture those that have aligned themselves with Grim Warlock.
Doppelganger: Often the result of a magic spell, a doppelganger is a witch’s look-alike, magic clone, or double. Frequently, the doppelganger is an evil version of the original, so the Sanguinati considered it Grim magic.
Ectoplasm: The very power within a Sorcerer sometimes reveals itself as a sticky, gelatinous, floating substance called ectoplasm. A Sorcerer usually coughs up ectoplasm, but the gauzy substance can exit through the eyes, nose, and ears. It often retracts back into the body when exposed to light or touch, and can drape across a ghost or spirit to reveal its form.
Fetch: A fetch is a proper name for a Sorcerer’s shadow form, also known as a Sorcerer’s astral form.
Free-Floating: Free of having to use a broom to fly through the air. Also called transvecting or transvection, levitation, or floating. Only Sorcerers can float (transvect), the Sanguinati require brooms to fly through the air.
Paling of the Blood: As most Sorcerers mature, their blood becomes paler in color.
Shadow Morph: An often independently moving shadow belonging to a Sorcerer, especially when the shadow mutates into odd shapes.
Transvection: Also called levitation, floating, or free-floating: (free of having to use a broom to fly through the air.) Only Sorcerers can float. The Sanguinati require brooms to fly through the air.
Terms Related to Time and Numbers
Odd Numbers: Sorcerers find odd numbers more powerful, especially the number 13.
Seventh Son: The Sanguinati prefer even numbers, but they make an exception with the number seven. They believe seventh children of seventh children are exceptionally gifted, especially Seventh Sons.
The Power of Seven: The Sanguinati prefer even numbers, but they make an exception with the number seven, which they consider a number of lucky, mystical power. The moon has four phases lasting seven days; there are seven days in a week and seven colors in the rainbow.
The Power of Thirteen: Sorcerers prefer odd numbers, especially the number 13, which is believed to be especially powerful; therefore, Sorcerers usually strive to have a coven of 13 members to ensure everyone’s powers work at an optimum level.
The Thirteenth Hour: The Controssua briefly mentions something about the Grim Warlock’s Thirteenth Hour, the predicted new hour that will change time and change everything, a time where the Grim Warlock attempts to take over Hoopenfangia and, some believe, the whole world.
The Witching Hour: Midnight; a time when witches’ powers are the strongest.
Tricks and Toys
Bumble Rockets: Tiny rocket with little stingers that, once activated with a magic wand, fire stings repeatedly from their yellow and black-striped bumble tails.
Camouflaging Powder: Mixed from crushed knot-on-a-log with the shed skin of a snake-in-the-grass to form a silvery web-wound ball that, when thrown, makes a large puff of camouflaging smoke.
Drucken-Wackel: Wooden puppets on a base with a button that you push with your thumb to activate the animated figures usually in a drunken manner.
Fireclappers: Once lit, this magic firecracker explodes into thousands of sparks that shoot through the air and pop into life-sized hands that applaud enthusiastically.
Girlequin: A name Stabbah Scarveda calls a female mannequin that looks like herself.
Lickety-Split: This is a spoke-wheeled riding board similar to a Nizzertit’s skateboard except it emits crackling flames that propel it forward.
Poppet Doll: A poppet doll (from the word puppet doll) is an early version of the voodoo doll but was used more for good than harm, such as protective spells.
Rattlesnake Rattlers: Used mostly by Mystic Steeples’ choir, rattlesnake rattlers are shaken to generate good energy and luck, as well as to intimidate and hex the opposition.
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